Re-Bound

A former classmate and fellow blogger (http://doublemreview.blogspot.com/) and I decided to each blog on this topic.  So, here goes...

***

She tore at her hands, scrubbed her lips raw, willing for them to undo what they had done. Looking at her reflection in the mirror, Akshara could barely stand to see the innocent-looking face gazing back at her. Because she knew she was not innocent. Far from it.

She sank down on the couch, defeated. And the utter loneliness engulfed her again. And she hid her face in the cushion. And as the events of the day replayed in her mind, she cried. And her wails rang through the house.

***

Akshara had loved Akash ever since the first time they had met over a cup of coffee. As months went by, he introduced her to a whole new world. The simplest of meals with him turned into cherished moments. A single movie spent holding hands was a memory of a lifetime. His silly jokes, his love, his zest for life, all together made her own life seem wonderful beyond measure.

But, one day, the sweet dream they lived was cruelly shattered... along with the car that Akash had been in. The memory of that day was a whirlwind of horrifying images of the crushed car, the shattered glass, the crunch of broken metal, the pools of blood, a crowd of people, chaos. And amidst it all, Akash being pulled out of the car, his legs crushed - a cripple for life.

Akshara was a darling daughter, her parents' delight and pride. And they refused to let her "ruin her life by marrying a cripple." She could fight them, but not Akash's stubbornness about the same.

"I cannot see your life end over mine, Akshara. I love you too much for that," he had said, before making her promise to forget about 'them'.

Not knowing where to go or what to do, she paid a visit to Tarun. Tarun was an artist par excellence and she was a bit of a muse to him. His painting studio was covered with beautiful canvasses and he always played light music while he worked. Akshara thought it would help her forget, at least temporarily. She sank down on a well-worn chair and closed her eyes. She prayed for numbness... for the pain to subside.

Waves of loneliness crashed over her. The music reminded her of the singing of a love-lorn mermaid, crying on the rocks. Her throat constricted, and she felt her heart would burst.

And then she felt the kiss. A soft, feathery touch, just on the top of her head. And then another one followed, this time, just above her right ear.

Akshara did not open her eyes. For a moment there, she felt… loved, wanted. She felt that if she just allowed the kiss, everything in her world would be alright again. So, she let Tarun kiss her. She turned her attention on the trail of kisses that followed to the back of her neck, and then on her forehead, and then on her lips. And she held him, and she pulled him close. And she kissed him with all of the pain that was welled up inside her. And she held him tight, with all the anger and frustration that exploded in her insides.

Akshara opened her eyes and looked at the face of – Tarun! This was Tarun, not Akash. She was his muse, not his love! He was smiling, victoriously, as if he had just made a conquest. She backed off – shocked!

Without a word, Akshara ran. Out of the room, with all of its sensual pleasures. Out of the house, out of the yard. She could sense him standing at the door, a little stunned, unsure whether to call out to her or not. But, she continued to run, without looking back. She ran until she was home.

***

Sitting by herself, on the couch, Akshara felt only disgust. Not towards Tarun, who had kissed a girl who belonged to someone else, but on herself, for letting him do it, and even responding. Had her ‘love’ for Akash been just a farce?

But, deep inside, she knew that the question she was asking herself was irrelevant. Because she knew that the answer to her deed lay in just one problem – she loved Akash, and her life without him was just an empty shell. Her loneliness gnawed on her and threatened to eat her from within. And she picked up the phone and dialled the most familiar number of her life.

“I don’t care if you think you are incomplete without your legs and that my life will be finished if I stay with you,” she spoke. “But, what I know for sure is that I cannot be whole without you because I had never known what life was until I met you. And if you reject me today, Akash, I will have to spend my whole life as a loveless cripple.”

And she burst into fresh tears. And she heard him sobbing at the other end of the phone. And through the tears, they smiled. They were one again.